I have been wanting to go back to school for a long LONG time. I am not wanting to do anything new, just advance my degree as a nurse. This is one of those bucket list items I have always had on the back burner.
I have been so afraid to take the leap. I am not sure why… but somewhere along the way I have started to doubt my abilities in myself. I have told myself that I cannot possibly work full time, be a good mom and better myself. I have told myself that I am setting myself up to fail and that I cannot possibly do well as a student 20 years after graduating from college the first time. I have told myself that BETTERING myself (for some stupid reason or another) deprives my children of my attention and means I will miss out on being there for them and being a part of their growing up.
You know what? I was WRONG.
I have been back to school for only a few weeks. I have written two papers in that time and tonight I will be taking my third test and moving into my fourth section. I have received all A’s and one B.
I have been to every sporting even since I started, have not missed a single thing my kids have going on and actually seem like a BETTER mother since I started.
Why? Here are a few reasons…
- My kids see me trying to better myself, and that makes them proud. My son actually helped me with the format of my first paper, and my other son proofread it. Both my boys were as excited to see my grade post online as I was. Together we tackled one of my greatest fears in trying to succeed and they were proud of me. Let me stress that again… proud. Proud enough to share my grade with other people.
- My kids see me stress the value of lifelong learning and education. Do I need to be in school? Probably not. Do I want to be so that I can earn more, elevate myself in my position and increase my knowledge in the medical filed? Yes. They see me trying to learn and grow… and they see the value in it for themselves and their future.
- My children see that placing value on myself is important too. I am a good mom, cheerleader, wife, employee and etc. I take care of everything my family needs and make sure to be at every concert, game, meeting, church event, professional event for my husbands…. but what about valuing things that are important to me? They finally see me placing value on my own interests and that is pretty cool.
- They see me utilizing good time management skills. No I cannot watch TV, I have homework. Yes, I can go to the movies tonight because I got all my homework done last weekend. No, I cannot watch that show until I have my paper done. etc. etc. They see me balancing work and family and school and that it CAN be done and time can be managed effectively so everyone wins.
- They see me reading. I have to admit… I have not always been the best reader. I would call myself mediocre at best. I would sometimes read for fun, but it was not something my children saw me do on a regular basis. Now they see me taking the time to read… and carry on conversations about what I am learning about. It is a bonus when my kids can talk to me about what I am learning, because it is something they recently learned about too.
So as I approach the mid point of my first class back in school… Philosophy… I am proud to say that I am ROCKIN this back to school thing. I will continue to hack away at classes as long as I have the energy to. And to those neighsayers out there who say things like “why would you want to go back to school??? Ugh….” I say….
BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND I WANT TO BE THE BEST ME I CAN BE.
Until next time-